Forever 19

Staring at the screen before me displaying the Google search engine page, I could not think of anything to search. Horoscope? Miley Cyrus? I had already browsed them and I wasn’t going to again. Maybe a little more about horoscope. There! Nothing interesting. Then my cursor accidentally hit the Mayan button.

I read about the Mayans and then the most dreaded information about the world ending in 2012. Wait a minute. IT IS 2012!!! And we’re all dying! I’m never going to be 20! I’ll be 19 forever!

Ever since I was little, I dreamt of being 20 and all of my wishes in my to-do-list would begin with ‘when I turn 20…’s. I wanted to visit every place in our country, every holy place and then move on to travelling around the world. Then I wanted to sing on stage and play my guitar like a rock star and have people applauding so loud for me, screaming my name. And do something to help the world, save the environment and the people. For my late twenties, I planned on opening a library and then a flower shop.

I was going to do that all in 10 years time- from when I turn 20. A part of me did not want to agree with this whole Mayan thing. I have been turning a deaf ear to everyone around me fretting about it but now that I read the article, listened to the news about acres and acres of forest being burnt by fire, floods and earthquakes striking countries, I’m starting to believe it. What if because of this Mayan prediction that people are actually starting to think that more such natural disasters are occurring whereas they have been occurring way before this? I considered that possibility too.

But the weight was heavier on me still never turning 20. In this case I may consider making a new to-do-list. It would then begin like this ‘if I never turn 20…’. I still do not like the sound of it. With only a few months left, I am not sure I can do much or anything at all from my list. I felt my head swell and beat like a drum. I needed to think straight. So I turn off the monitor and look outside.

Then I see people going about their own activities and being concerned about anything but this. Even I have been doing the same before reading this article, a perfectly normal life with perfectly normal plans for when I turn 20. So I say a little prayer (just in case). Thank god I may not be forever 19. I smile and remember something I wanted to add to my list.

1. . . .

2. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

17. When I turn 20 …. ;)

~Dechen Pelki

4.7.12~